Push away the ugly
Hide it until you are blinded by its beauty

Push the numbness and pain
Deeper and deeper into your veins

Push the lightness further and further more
Until all you feel is the void of your core

Push your sins for all to see
Let them shine in all their glory

Push the memories until they no longer exist
Ravage the vacancy you refuse to resist

Push all of those who failed you
They couldn’t catch your fall – they never had a clue

Push me – hard, and slam the door
I am already broken – fixable no more

I know the ugly
I bathe in its beauty

I know the numbness and the pain
I flourish as it courses through my veins

I know the darkness
I feel it burning deep in my chest

I live my sins…everyday
Their glory…trophies in their own way

I know the memories I hide from
And the vacancy that makes me numb

I know the disappointments of those I trusted most
I relish in the solace of living with their ghosts

So, push it all away
It’s essence – it’s soul is here to stay

It is a part of who we are
It is our everyday war

A battle that will never be won
A nightmare we will never outrun

So, push me – hard as you might
I will always push back – you are not alone in this fight

~ Kristie Bueno