“No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.”

~ Eleanor Roosevelt, 1937

I will be honest and admit that things have been challenging, and I will also admit that there are certain entities in which I hold responsible besides myself.  I sometimes become overwhelmed with the feelings of guilt and responsibility of where this life of mine has come.  But I know that I did not get here by myself.  There are others to blame, and in the same sentence, others to thank.  There are many good things as well as bad things that get us to where we are.

You start to question if some of the things that the responsible parties have done were done on purpose, out of spite, or just by accident.  Because it can make a difference.  I know that with some of the evils I am fighting are strong enough to break me in half.  But I refuse to allow that to happen.  I will not give anyone the satisfaction of seeing me broken.  So in spite of what they have done to me, I will survive.

I will be uncompromised.  You may have had the ability to crack my shell, but my insides, my morals, who I am will and shall always stay intact.  You don’t have the ability to take that away from me.  I did not give you permission to step on my soul, you did that on your own.  You just weren’t prepared for me to be stronger than you.  You think fixing things on the outside will make your world better, I hate to be the one to tell you that it doesn’t work that way.

You must start from the center, your heart.  Only then will things begin to change, even on the outside things will change.  But as long as your heart remains the same, nothing in, out or around you will ever be different.  I was fortunate, I didn’t  break all the way, the healing is well on its way.  Again, I will remain uncompromised by you and your choices.  My heart is strong and fierce, and it fights for me even when I am unable.

4/27/2010